The Annotated Raven
by Wind Lane
Summary: Raven is keeping a second diary now that Trigon is gone and she can feel more freely. She'd kill me if she found out I was letting you read it. Complete.
1. July 27th

(A/N) Howdy all, Wind here. I decided to write this after thinking about how few stories there were where Raven was the aggressor in a relationship. Even ones where she is proactive, she ends up waiting for the guy to do the work of getting them together. Raven seems like she'd want control of the situation, so I came up with this. It's all diary entries; so don't be surprised if I end up updating two or more chapters in a day since each chapter is one diary entry. By the way, Jump City is in California. When it's targeted by the Brain's machine in Homecoming pt. 2 it's easy to see that it's in California. It's probably meant to be like San Francisco, which makes a lot of sense. You know how many empty old warehouses are in San Francisco? Tons. And since Jump City is based on San Francisco (probably), I'll be using its weather and locale as a base of reference.

Disclaimer: I own this story, but not the characters in it. They're cool; I'm not smart enough to think up cool characters.

The Annotated Raven – July 27th

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11:30 p.m.

So. I was thinking things over and I kind of had a weird little discussion with Affection. Since Trigon can't get to me any more I'm more free to feel than before. I'm not ready to act like Star or anything, but I might be able to at least try and find someone that I could love. That sounds so corny. I'm hiding this journal in Nevermore so that no one ever finds it. I'd die of embarrassment after I killed whoever found it.

So this journal will hold all of my attempts at love. That still sounds corny. I feel like some stupid schoolgirl writing this. Anyway, I need to figure out who I'm going to, uhm, attempt first. Affection said I should try those who I know best. She said that the person you love should be your best friend. I guess that means that I'll see about Robin first. He showed me something that no one else had. He showed me how much he cared no matter how bleak things seemed. He had hope, for me, of all people. It makes me nervous to think about allowing myself to feel that way about anybody, but something about Robin makes me feel safe. I think I can trust him. I'll start tomorrow.

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(A/N) A brief first entry, but it made sense that it would be brief. I'm thinking that I'll be updating in a very weird pattern because of how this is going to work, but I appreciate when people review every last entry all the same. ;-) Review what you want to. I hate it when authors try and beg or bully people into reviews. OH! But flame away if you feel like it. Destructive criticism is appreciated.


	2. August 1st

(A/N) This will probably have a whole lot of chapters before I'm done. I'm looking at something like seven hundred…I want to be part of that club. Kidding. Anyway, I hope that this isn't too much of a shock, but I actually have the whole story somewhat planned out. Complete contrast to my other two stories where I just had an idea of how it would go up to a point, but that's it. I just wrote and those stories are the result. This has a little more planning, though not much. That's all by the by, enjoy.

Disclaimer – I thought about buying the Teen Titans' DVD sets, but I changed my mind because I wasn't sure I liked the show so much as I just really like the characters. Plus it would have been like sixty bucks. So, I don't own the Teen Titans. I passed on my chance for now.

The Annotated Raven – August 1st

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10:15 p.m.

O.K., so this is later than I said I was going to start. I kept chickening out or I got interrupted. I think it'll help if I get some things written down. I'll just list the pros and cons of Robin and that'll give me something to go on. So here goes.

Pros: He saved me, Intelligent, Kind, Caring, A Good Leader, Powerful Without Super Powers, Good Looking, Nice, Build, Mature.

Cons: Starfire, He Might Like Starfire, Maybe Too Much Like Me, Obsessive At Times, Cocky Sometimes, Oblivious To Some Things.

So, I'll have to be careful when dealing with Robin since I don't want to hurt Starfire's feelings, and because she might hurt me physically if I do. I wouldn't have put anything about his looks, but Affection said I had to if I wanted to be honest. Maybe I should only keep the journal in Nevermore, not write in it here. I still have no idea what to do to find out about Robin. I'm clueless when it comes to flirting, and it doesn't look like he knows when someone's flirting with him anyway. Do I ask him out? Do I just hang out with him a lot more? It'd be so much easier to just keep doing what I've been doing all my life and just ignore this part of me. Too late though. I think there's more to what's between Robin and me than just friendship. He did so much for me that I

I'm not sure yet, but I'm going to find out.

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(A/N) Dang, these really are short. I might be putting up more than three at a time. Just because they're short, don't expect daily updates. I'm going to try and do daily updates, but Thursday through Sunday is hard for me for various reasons. (Work, Church, Sleep, Where I'm At) Anyway, review if you have a comment or complaint. That's what it's there for.


	3. August 3rd

(A/N) Still no reviews? Probably because I haven't put the story up yet. Maybe. Anyway, nothing really new to write here since nobody has read any of this yet. Enjoy it though. Oh yeah! If you don't like the story or the direction it's going, tough. Write your own story if you think you can do better. I'll probably read it.

Disclaimer: Teen Titans is a very fun show. I don't own it or the comic books it was based off of. However, my story is based off of the show, so it helps more if you've watched the show than just reading the comics.

The Annotated Raven – August 3rd

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10:45 p.m.

I don't know why I keep making these entries around the same time. Just a quick note to myself: The times of the entries are rounded off. Who knows how long this thing will just sit before I open it again if I succeed or give up. Anyway, I finally got up some courage and asked Robin out. Well…not really. I invited him to go with me to a movie I had been planning to see. He actually accepted, so I gave him a small smile. I've been smiling a lot more around him. I just feel like I should when he can see me.

I don't remember much about the movie, I kept looking at him. He almost touched my hand a few times, but I think he stopped himself. I wanted to grab his hand so that it would just happen. We talked a little afterwards at that diner with the really good pie and he said how he liked that I was smiling more. I told him that it was because of him. He gave me a knowing smile that made me feel like I would melt with how warm it made me.

He does feel that way about me! I was too scared to admit how I felt about him right there. I want to wait for the right moment. I've had to wait so long to even consider that I could fall in love and now that it's happened I want things to be perfect. After what happened with Trigon, I knew that there was something between us. I love the way this makes me feel and I hate it. While he's around I can't help but feel like this and there's nothing that's made me feel better, but when he's not around and I look at how I was acting or what I was thinking, I feel almost ashamed that I could let myself be like that. At least Affection's not here right now to tell me how love was never a simple thing or something else annoyingly true like that. I think I'll watch Robin do his morning training tomorrow.

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(A/N) Important to mention, I might be going into pairings that people might not enjoy. Just remember that I might not being staying in any pairing that I start up. Don't let past stories fool you; you can't be sure who she'll end up with if anyone. Except that she will end up with someone.


	4. August 10th

(A/N) This author's note gets to be so pointless when you put up multiple chapters in one sitting. I hate you all! Except I don't hate the people who just read that last sentence. Fully covered, gotta love it.

Disclaimer: I….LOVE…the Teen Titans. They rock. I don't own them, but who can really own what they love? If you love it, set it free. If it loves you, it'll return.

The Annotated Raven – August 10th

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11:45 p.m.

We just got back from catching Mad Mod…again. He's got to be one of the most annoying villains we fight, except for Mumbo. Robin and I were going to go get something to eat when the alarm went off. It's so frustrating. I was going to talk to him about how we feel about each other.

I just read that last sentence. Have I really come to this? I guess for somebody so new to all this relationship stuff that I'm bound to sound pathetic.

I'm glad I started watching him do his morning workouts. He looks…O.K., I know what the right word to use is, and I just can't believe I've gotten to the point where I'm using it. He looks hot. He builds up a good sweat and just pummels the stuffing out of a kick bag. I could watch him all day.

Starfire watches him most mornings too. We talk while he works out. It's kind of nice, but I feel weird when I know why we're both there. She started to notice too and we talked about that. It was one of the strangest conversations I've ever had. She wasn't angry; she doesn't know what he's feeling. She's confused about how he acted when Trigon came and is too shy to ask him about it. I don't have the heart to say what I think. It might crush her.

This is so much stranger than it was with Malchior. With him, there was only him. There wasn't anybody else who even knew he existed, literally. He only had me. This is…a lot freakier. Robin and Star have been looking like something was going to happen between them forever, but he never did anything. He just smiles at her and keeps on just doing his normal stuff. He and I have been out a few times now and I keep getting these knowing smiles from him, like this is some cool secret we share. I'm going to just let everything out into the open soon. It's nice having the secret, but it's got to be better if we share the secret with each other at least. Maybe tomorrow.

Affection says I have to put how I'm worried about what this will do to mine and Starfire's friendship. I'm scared. She's such an emotional person, and I don't want to be the one to tell her. It's cowardly, but I don't think I could handle looking in her eyes when she found out. I don't want her to hate me. This would be so much easier if she liked Beast Boy or Cyborg.

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I think I'm going insane. I keep getting more and more random in my thoughts when I'm left alone and it's quiet. When other people are around it makes it easier for me to keep it all inside, but when I'm alone I keep having to yell out and talk in funny or strange voices. It's like my mind is a TV with some hyper kid flipping through the channels as fast as he can. At the very least, it's entertaining, but I worry about the rest of society being accepting enough to not have me incarcerated for acting that way. That's why other people being around helps me keep this all pushed aside. Fear of societal acceptance of my abnormalities and of being institutionalized is keeping me from being a raving loon. A review is a perfectly acceptable thing if you have something to say about the story. E-mail is more appropriate for the obvious things people always say when someone else says their sanity is slipping away. It all tends to be words of humor or encouragement. Wouldn't proper counseling or psychoanalysis be more fitting?


	5. August 11th

(A/N) Whoa, reviews…(starts singing) it's the end of the world as we know it. (Stops singing) Anyway, on to answering questions. Ellisar, nope, this won't be tied into _Tamed_ at all. They're completely separate. So, no, you won't be finding out who she ends up with early. And, yes, it is normal to care for fictional characters. That's why we all watch the show, isn't it? ;-) loaned, this next chapter will help explain what happens next. I hardly ever give much about upcoming events unless it's directly mentioned in the story, and that's the only place I'd be talking about any of it. If anybody can guess how this is going to go, you win a bafillion widgets…that don't work or exist.

(A/SN) Many thanks go to Kenji Star for his great help with this entry. And yes, it matters greatly even though this is so short.

Please Read the Author's Note at the end.

Disclaimer: The Teen Titans and I only have a working, platonic relationship. I'm not into that whole master/owner – slave thing.

The Annotated Raven – August 11th

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10:30 a.m.

I am such an idiot. I told him. I told him everything and now it doesn't even matter what I said before. He's not the one, he never was. I got to the training room before Starfire would even be up; normally we're both getting there around the same time. I told him I loved him and asked him how he felt. This hurts. I don't want to go through this every time I think I'm in love. Love sucks.

At least Robin gave me his reason and didn't make fun of me or push me away. Starfire had better start being more assertive about liking him before he lets how he feels about her slip away. It's so petty, but I'm jealous of her. Not because Robin loves her instead of me, but because she has someone who loves her back.

I was so sure that it was love, but Robin's right. I'm probably just confused about the whole thing. Him being so comforting and caring even when he's telling me he doesn't love me that way only makes this feel worse. I guess this is why he's the leader, he can give that much of himself to each of us.

What I was more surprised about was how I felt…lighter after telling him and having him telling me he didn't love me like he loves Star. I was actually kind of happy, but I'm not sure why. I know that part of it is because it means that I won't have to worry about hurting Starfire and hurting our friendship. But the rest of it, I just don't get.

Note to self: Encourage Robin and Starfire to interact more. He may not love me, but there's no way I'm going to let him flirt with her and then not do anything else. I'm not letting them waste love. And it's another overly sappy saying. Teenager tries to find love and screws up…never heard that one before. I'm becoming a made for TV movie.

After Robin and I had our talk, I had breakfast with Beast Boy. Seems like he's just the right person for me to be around after a guy has dumped me. I think it's because my blunders in love pale in comparison to his daily fumblings in almost everything. That and he's not that bad a person. Sometimes.

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(A/N) As I said, Kenji Star helped me with this journal entry. I used his masterful one-shot fic "Heart in a Blender" as a reference. I treated this as though his fic was what had happened between Raven and Robin when she told him she loved him. Please read his story. It is, in my humble opinion, the precise thing that would happen if Raven actually fell in love with Robin. Succinct is the word that fits it best. The bonus is that it's well written too. Anyway, review if you must, flame all you want, and deposit all final entries in writing.


	6. August 30th

(A/N) I think this might be my only other chapter for this sitting. It's late where I am.

Disclaimer: The Teen Titans could never be owned by one so piteous as I.

The Annotated Raven – August 30th

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11:00 p.m.

So, I haven't written in this thing for a good reason. I wasn't fully done with getting over what happened with Robin.

Affection says I have to be honest, so forget that last sentence. I haven't tried anything since Robin because I was scared I would just get hurt like that again. People have no idea how badly something can annoy you about some promise you made when they don't need sleep and exist inside your head.

And that brings me to now. I'm going to continue on with this, and because of what Affection keeps telling, that means I'm going to try and get Cyborg to notice me.

I feel so pathetic right now.

I'll just keep showing up to help Cy with his 'baby' more often. That should give us some chances to talk and me a few chances to make a fool of myself again.

Affection says I have to stop putting myself down. Now I feel pathetic. My own emotions are turning into therapists for me. It won't matter if I stop writing this in Affection's realm. Apparently, she can see whatever I write in here as I write it since it's a journal about searching love that I'm writing.

Anyway, I'll probably start tomorrow.

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(A/N) Read "Heart in a Blender" by Kenji Star. Go. If you haven't, now's the time. It's especially the right time since I won't be updating for at least another twelve hours. Oh yeah, and I wouldn't turn down a review if you sent one off. With how short these bits are, if I find that this is turning out to be crap, then at least that means that there's a good chance I can steer it away from the brown waters and back into the briny deep blue of the ocean.


	7. September 12th

(A/N) Thank you to those of you who have reviewed. Regrem Erutaerc, I don't have any plans on using the other emotions as actively as I'm using Affection since Raven's writing the journal in her realm. They might get used, but it would be sparingly, and most likely, only as part of something she was telling about rather than the commentary that Affection keeps interjecting. Not sure how many fic bits (fic bits…is that a candy bar?) I'll be posting today…this one at least. ;-)

Disclaimer: Me and the Titans got nothing on each other.

The Annotated Raven – September 12th

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6:00 a.m.

So no one else is up yet. I woke up at five, and after just thinking about how I haven't done anything at all to see if Cyborg and I would work, I thought doing the whole pro/con thing on him would be a good idea. I'll probably just do it every time I think someone might be that right person.

OK, two things before do the pros and cons: First, there has got to be some better name to call him then Cyborg. That's about as personal as a form letter from some corporation. I might see if I can break into the personnel files on the computer system to find out his real name. Second, I'm saying so many of those teenage girl wanting to fall in love clichés that I'm even getting annoyed about getting annoyed.

Anyway, Cy's good and bad points:

Pros: Caring, Intelligent, Clever, Good Cook, Funny (occasionally), A Leader by Example, Upbeat, Knowledgeable both in learning and in people, Good Listener, Good Looking, Strong both mentally and physically, Trustworthy

Cons: Can Be Pretty Immature, His Pranks, His 'Baby' (he obsesses almost as much as Robin with Slade), He Acts Like a Big Brother, Video Game Addiction, A Little Too Much Meat

Affection thinks the whole big brother attitude automatically makes this a bust, but I reminded her about all the times I'd had things that I wasn't comfortable talking with anyone else about and how he had been so gentle with those secrets. He's never told anyone and he never tries to use any of it against me. She relented after I brought that up.

He invited me to help him put in some new filters for the engine of his 'baby' this weekend. I'll try asking him out then.

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(A/N) So far, I'm happy with how this is turning out. However, it feels like it would be more interesting to read when everything is done or close to being done…which I highly counsel against. You should all just slavishly chain yourselves to your computers, constantly refreshing my bio page in the hopes that the story will be updated between one of your routine 8 billion refreshes per day. Reviewing is cool too. ;-)


	8. September 17th

(A/N) Kenji Star, actually, I don't think you keep coming back because it's a good story. I think it's 'cause I used your awesome story as a reference point and now you feel obligated. I'll take it. ;-) Mr. Jin, you didn't really ask a question, but I can at least explain why she's not obsessing over every little detail with her current beaus. First, she's an exceptionally reserved person. Considering her powers and how they work, she's probably that way with herself as well. Second, she hasn't really been in love yet…nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more.

Disclaimer: Dis – to put down or insult. Claim – to take ownership of. Er – a guttural noise used when one is thinking of what to say or when one does not know what to say. So, to do a proper disclaimer, you have to insult what you own when you don't know what to say. Sooooooo, STUPID PIECE OF CRAP PENCIL, I don't own Teen Titans.

The Annotated Raven – September 17th

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4:15 p.m.

I helped Cyborg with the filters today. I can't say what it is about working on a car that is satisfying, but something is. I can see, barely, why he's the way he is about that car. Anyway, while we were working and just kind of idly talking I asked him out. I said something like "So, do you want to go get dinner tonight with me?" He asked what we were getting for everyone and I told him it would just be him and me. He came out from under the hood where he had been putting in the air filter and gave me this funny look.

I can't really say what he meant by it. I couldn't tell if he was shocked, trying to think of a way out of it, or if he was insulted or creeped out. He looked like that for a little while, not saying a word till I said something. Finally he comes out of it and I could tell he was carefully choosing his words as he talked. He told me how he didn't understand why I would ask him out. He thinks I only go for guys who can appreciate dark poetry. Although that's not totally true, it is something I like. Anyway, he also said that it would be too weird for him since he thinks of me as his little sister, stupid Affection being right.

I'm not really upset about things not happening between Cy and me, just annoyed that Affection was right again. Of course, lots of people do stupid things and then admit that part of them knew it was the wrong thing to do, my parts are just a lot more vocal.

Actually, I'm glad he didn't accept. I hate to admit my prejudices, but I don't like his kind of guys. Tall is nice, but not that tall.

Since my love life is flat lining, I'll put in somebody else's good fortune. Starfire and Robin finally did something other than flirt and act like they didn't really flirt. It wasn't some big, climactic admission of undying love, and neither one asked the other out or anything like that. They just ended up close to each other and let go and kissed. Again, I'm jealous of Starfire, but at least I feel happy for her too. It'll be good for both of them. Robin can help her stop being so obviously alien and she can help remove that stick up his…Affection says I shouldn't insult my friends in here. It's not really an insult if it's true though.

Another thing, before I forget. I did get into the personnel files in the computer system. Robin being Bruce Wayne's heir was a bit of a shock, but Cy's name was actually kind of a let down. Victor Stone. He already used his real last name when he went undercover at the Hive Academy. Plus Vic is about as plain as Cy. At least my file was pretty empty. They only know about what I've told them. I guess that's part of the benefit of growing up somewhere other than earth.

So, the reason I've written so much is because I was hoping Affection would leave and I wouldn't have to put this next bit in. Then I could get back to my room before she caught me. So, since I've gone through the first two guys that I know well, that leaves one. Beast Boy. I can't believe I actually have to do this. Wait, Affection just left. Score one for me.

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(A/N) I was thinking that it would be really funny if Raven just marched up to Cyborg and kissed him, but then I actually pictured it in my head and couldn't stop dry heaving. I'm not sure, but I don't think I would want them ending up as a couple. Too much big brother little sister action for me to believe it could work. Review as though your life depended on it…even though it doesn't. It's…it's not pathetic. IT'S NOT! Oh wait, it is. Don't review unless you mean it. Seriously. I'll, like, spit on your review if it's fake praise or manufactured put-downs.


	9. September 18th

(A/N) So, now I slip dreamily into the trance of writing. All the world's noise and images die to my psyche as I churn the very elements of creation in my mind. I apologize that it's a E-Z Bake Imagination that I'm using, but at least it makes those neat little miniature cakes that you can put frosting on. I'm having cherry icing.

Disclaimer: See Wind. See Wind write. Write, Wind, write. See lawyers. Lawyers see Wind writing. Run, Wind, run. See Wind declare that the totalitarianistic elements of their regime will fall when he disavows all rights, titles, and ownerships of the Teen Titans, their merchandise, and any other affiliated entities. Screw the man, Wind, screw the man!

The Annotated Raven – September 18th

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9:30 a.m.

Fine. Here, I'm writing. Now leave me alone, Affection. She might not have caught me before I got away yesterday, but she hasn't left me alone since. So here it is, in all its pathetic glory: Beast Boy's pros and cons.

Pros: Occasionally Not Annoying, Sometimes Says Very Little, Usually Trying To Not Be Annoying But Failing At It, Doesn't Know When To Stop Smiling, Sometimes Leaves Me Alone, Not Always Trying To Ruin

Affection says I have to start over and to leave out the sarcasm. She's acting like some mom from a fifty's TV show.

Pros: Wants To See Me Smile, Helps Me Through Rough Spots Of Life, Always Smiles At Me, Includes Me In Everything, Treats Me Like I'm A Normal Girl, Apologizes When He Messes Up, Sometimes (Rarely) Funny, Sometimes He Looks Cute

Cons: Annoying, Immature, Loud, Obnoxious, Hyper, Tofu (I don't hate the stuff, but he's always trying to get me to eat it.), His Music (Plays it louder than Robin does.), Lazy, Not Very Bright, Insane Theories, Pranks, Video Game Addict, Invades My Personal Or Private Space On A Regular Basis, Won't Leave Me Alone When I Want To Be Alone, Sometimes Vain, Sometimes Arrogant, Sloppy, Wears Dirty Clothes Over And Over Again, Never Cleans His Room, Never Reads, Interrupts My Reading, Always The Last To Wake Up, Gets Pushy When I Don't Want To Be Included, Grovels When He Doesn't Get His Way

Affection made me stop adding to the cons. Beast Boy is fine as a friend, I just don't see how someone like him and someone like me would ever get along long enough to become more than friends. I did promise myself that I'd try all of this though. I feel like this is going to be like when I asked Cyborg out.

It's not that I dislike him; I just don't think it would ever work. It's like trying to mix oil and water. You can put them in the same jar, but they'll still be separate.

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(A/N) I'm tired, but I want to get another entry out tonight. So, off I go.


	10. September 20th

(A/N) It's after midnight, and I'm writing up another short chapter. Long chapters to come? It all depends on how I feel the outline I wrote up should be played out. At this point I would say that there are bound to be long chapters, but I don't want to get anybody's hopes up, especially my own.

Disclaimer - .snatiT neeT eht nwo t'nod I .siht ekil remailcsid ym tuo etorw dna derob yllaer tog I

The Annotated Raven – September 20th

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11:00 p.m.

I figured that it would be best to just get it over with, so I asked Beast Boy out yesterday. I was really surprised at how easily he accepted. We only went to get some pizza at the usual place, but it was actually nice. He was really calm and that helped me stop feeling like I was just going with him to get it out of the way. I didn't expect to have a good time. He's pretty nice when there aren't so many distractions around.

We ended up talking and I was smiling at him now and then. For some reason, he always stares at my smiles. I asked him why and I think he actually blushed. It's hard to tell because of his skin. He said that since I don't smile all that often, that he wants to see them the whole time they're there. I'm glad I had my hood up, because I was blushing after that.

We went home pretty soon after that. We had spent over two hours there, and that was a little shocking. Beast Boy just seemed to take it all in stride. He didn't look like his usual nervous self once, which was what I was expecting when he said yes to going for pizza with me.

It didn't stop there though. The rest of yesterday and into today, he's been exceptionally considerate of me. It's like he's been waiting for this to happen so that he can surprise me by acting this way. He asked if I wanted to see a movie with him today and I was caught off guard by it, but I said yes. It was a horror film, but this time I admitted when it scared me. It didn't really scare me all that much, since it was pretty lame. Afterwards we went to this place that Beast Boy goes for vegan desserts and he bought me a Tofutti ice cream sandwich, and it actually wasn't bad. We talked for a little while, making fun of the movie. It was fun. Happy better be satisfied with all of this or I'll lock her in her realm again.

We walked back to the tower and I wanted to hold his hand just to show him I was really starting to enjoy his company, but my cloak makes anything like that a little bit exaggerated, too awkward. At least he kept looking at me and smiling. My cheeks are tired from smiling so much. It's weird that it would be Beast Boy to make me feel like dating isn't so bad.

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(A/N) I like this chapter for what it does. I think it works well to create the effect I'm going for right here. Let me know if you agree or disagree, but keep it shut if you're just interested in seeing where I'm going with this. Future posts are going to keep coming in waves. ;-)


	11. September 21st

(A/N) I just had to write up the chapter tonight. It's just screaming to get out of my head, and I can't sleep with that kind of ruckus.

Disclaimer – _Do you own the Teen Titans? _The answer is No. _Is that your final answer? _No, I plan on having answers to other questions after this. _You've just won a MILLION DOLLARS! _Really? _No. Now go back to being the homeless bum you are. _Well, crap.

The Annotated Raven – September 21st

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9:15 p.m.

Dating sucks. I just found out that Beast Boy is just oh so happy that we're getting to be better friends. He really likes hanging out. Stupid green elf doesn't even know I was flirting! Affection says that I have to add this: Flirting by my definition that is.

I think I really will throw him off the roof next time he does anything I've ever threatened to do that for.

So now what? He's as thick as a brick and didn't even get the direct approach. Do I have to tell him that it was a date? That sounds like it would make him freak out since he thinks it was just us hanging out together. How can he not realize what it was? Sure, he's the youngest (He's just younger than me, it was in those files I got into.), but he's got to be old enough to know the difference.

Affection wants me to give him another chance. One, that's all he gets. And I'm not going to spell things out for him. If he can't take the huge hint then I'm going to my coffee house to meet somebody.

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(A/N) And, that's why it was screaming to get out, because last chapter made it seem like they were getting together just a little too quickly and I wanted to mess with Raven a little. Anyway, review, add it to some list, burn a print out, your choice.


	12. September 26th

(A/N) Elissar, the reason the other guys don't notice or don't care that she's being extra friendly is because she's only doing it when they're relatively alone. With Cy, they were in the garage. With Robin, they were in the training room. With Beast Boy, they were the only ones in the common room. I don't think Raven would be the type to do what she is doing with anyone else around, too timid about that sort of thing. Plus, there was a little over a month between her talk with Robin and her asking Cyborg out. And as for my disclaimers, it's a simple formula I use to make them. First, be raised in a family of very weird people and then be the weirdest one. Second, make sure you're the only child of your gender with a whole lot of the other gender. Third, watch way too many cartoons, even the stupid ones. Fourth, eat paint. That's all there is to it. Oh, and it helps if it's lead based paint. Faster results. Mr. Jin, I'm not sure what you meant about where'd the chapters go. I know that sometimes FFN will not have the buttons right at first in the chapters right when they're updated. Another story I was reading posted two chapters back to back and I had to get at the second one from the chapter before both of the new ones. Very strange.

Disclaimer – Four out of five fan fic authors say they don't own the Teen Titans. That fifth guy is in jail doing twenty-five to life, because the owners of the Teen Titans are actively searching through the twelve thousand plus fan fics in hopes of catching people in the act of copyright infringement.

The Annotated Raven – September 26th

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9:45 a.m.

I'm still annoyed that he couldn't tell it was a date. I would have asked him out again sooner than today, but Johnny Rancid escaped and he was doing his usual mayhem act. I kind of wish he wasn't a bad guy so I could talk to him about that time he made the city look cool.

Anyway, I was sipping my tea when I noticed that it was only Beast Boy and me there. I knew something was strange about it because of how early it was. When I asked him why he was up he mumbled something about Cyborg and I'm pretty sure I heard water balloon in there too. I'm glad that they're intimidated by me because of things like that, no pranks. I asked him if he wanted to do something later today and he smiled and said yes.

He wants to go go-cart racing, I'm not so sure. I guess that I could give it a shot. I really hope he gets a clue this time. It's kind of insulting that he can't tell that I'm trying to figure out how much I like him. Doesn't he wonder about things like that? Maybe his height isn't the only thing that's stunted.

2:30 p.m.

We just got back from the go-cart track and I hate to admit it, but it was actually exciting. Beast Boy's better at it than me, but he said I was doing a lot better than he had his first time. He also said that I was the only other Titan who was still happy after going with him there. Apparently Cy and Robin didn't like losing, and Beast Boy's small size makes him faster.

We were both a little wide eyed when I laughed at something funny he said. OK, so maybe it was more like a very brief chuckle, but that's still a big thing for me. He was poking fun at Cyborg because when they came here Beast Boy's time was under a minute and Cy's was around twenty. Cyborg isn't allowed to come back because of how long the other people had to wait for him to finish.

After that he kept showing me places that he thought were cool at the park. I never knew that he had that much knowledge about plants and animals. I always figured it was some picture book that he used to get all the creatures he changes into, but he actually studies the stuff in his room. He says that's why he always wakes up so late, he stays up reading about animals and their habitats. And he even used the word habitat.

What he was showing me was interesting, but what really got to me was that he was holding my hand almost the whole time. When we got to the park he just grabbed it and pulled me off to an oak tree that he said was older than all of the Titans put together. At first I thought he had just grabbed my hand to drag me to whatever he wanted me to see, but even when we got to where he wanted to go he held on. I wish he'd taken off his gloves.

I think I might see about going out to dinner with him tonight. I want to ask him why we never tried dating before.

Dang it, the alarm's going off.

10:00 p.m.

That's it, I give up. I'm not going to keep having one-sided dates with the clueless little green idiot anymore. After we got back from catching some moronic bank robbers, I asked him to dinner and he said he couldn't. Then he got really excited and said he had something cool to tell me. His 'cool' thing was a date with one of the tellers from the bank we were at. I could have killed him.

That's why I'm giving up. If he can't even tell when he's on a date or when some girl might actually like him, then I'm going to the coffee house…eventually. I'm just going to stew for a couple of days.

Affection says I'm not allowed to just sit around stewing. I sent her flying into Wisdom's realm. I'm going to bed. Stupid green midget.

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(A/N) So, what do you think of the new paint job? Yeah, it was a little costly, but going from a stark white background to an anti-black background was worth it. It just makes the print that much livelier on the screen. Review if you have something to say.


	13. October 9th

(A/N) I'm so tired. I wish that I could just lie down in a pitch-black room and dictate these entries. It's not that my mind is tired; it feels refreshed and enervated by my night's rest. It's my eyes that are upset that I wasn't in the dark for long enough. They get that way. One time they went on strike and kept chanting in eye language about how they wanted more sleep. For those of you who don't know, eye language is pain, pain in or behind the eyes, and they never ever whisper. Eye language sucks. I went to the doctor to get it checked out and he sided with the eyes, the traitor. I was reading what you're supposed to do in situations like this, but it seemed a little extreme. "And if thy right eye offends thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee…"

Disclaimer – I'm sorry, I'm just too tired to think up some creative way of saying that I don't own the Teen Titans. Leave me alone or I'll get a restraining order…stalker.

The Annotated Raven – October 9th

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1:15 a.m.

I just got back from the coffee house. It was a really good night. On poetry reading nights they stay open till everyone who wants to has read. I actually talked with someone while I was there. He was sitting at the table next to mine and after he read a satisfyingly dark bit of poetry he'd written I had to compliment him. Well, that got us talking to each other and he came over and sat with me.

We talked about his poetry and the books we'd both read. He asked a few questions about what it was like for me being a superhero, but not so many that it got old or annoying. I talked a bit about each of the Titans and I laughed a little when he called Beast Boy a brain donor. His name's Garrett, and he was about a half-foot taller than me. He had black hair (probably dyed), kind of a sunken in look to his cheeks and eyes that made him look like something out of a Tim Burton film, and he's real skinny too. He doesn't look like he's starving himself or anything like that, more like he's one of those people who just can't gain weight; like a lot of musicians look.

He asked me for my number and I had to turn him down since we're not allowed to give out the tower's number because of security protocols. Instead, he gave me his. I think I might call him tomorrow. I can do the whole pros and cons thing later, when I know more about him.

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(A/N) I really could use a strawberry Stewarts Soda right now. Red dye acts like caffeine for me, which is funny since caffeine makes me sleepy. I think I'm gonna head to Jack-in-the-Box and get a strawberry Fanta. That should help.


	14. October 14th

(A/N) Regrem Erutaerc, I did it because I want to make my main character suffer. Any truly good story (mine aren't part of that category) rakes the main character(s) through the coals. It's just a part of the story that needs to happen so that Raven doesn't get through her experiences without the real life effect of disappointment. Something like that anyway. Of course, realize that just because I've said this, it doesn't mean I plan for her and Beast Boy to end up together. I've actually got some special things planned for her. Oh, and the word you were looking for is 'schmuck'. I've been called it enough to know. The Halfa Wannabe, OK, that's actually pretty dang observant and funny. I have no idea why they own a phone that they don't use, but I do have reasons why they wouldn't give out the number. It's the same reason celebrities keep their numbers secret. They don't want tons and tons of people calling who they don't know. Also, they might not give out the number because only Slade and other bad guys are allowed to call. (They've got videophone to the max at the Tower.) Plus, they don't need their phone all that much because they do that direct connect calling thing like some cell phone plans offer now. Their communicators were made by Verizon.

Disclaimer – I have a band called Ned's Ego Trip. We're kind of spread out right now (the drummer lives a thousand miles away), so we don't get much chance to play together. When we do all get back to living in the same state again then I'm going to write a song about how I don't own the Teen Titans. I think it'll be a big hit…here…and nowhere else on the entire planet.

The Annotated Raven – October 14th

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3:30 p.m.

I had lunch today with Garrett. It was nice. I called him last Monday and we set this up. I actually wasn't very hungry, so I just had a salad and we talked while we ate. I found out that he works at a record store, one of those Virgin Mega stores. He doesn't like all the commercialism, but he likes the employee discount. Kind of funny, but he didn't see why.

We still had a good time though. I like that we can relate on how life gives us a lot of annoyances to deal with. It feels good to have somebody understand that.

OK, before I keep going on about him, here're his pros and cons in a more compact format:

Pros: Reads A Lot, Has Read A Lot Of The Same Books I Have, Likes Poetry, Writes Poetry, Understands And Can Actually Use Sarcasm, Doesn't Think I'm Creepy, Not A Superhero, Good Conversationalist, Intelligent, Not Overwhelmed By My Fame Or Powers

Cons: Talks About His Problems A Little Too Much, Might Be Depressed, We Haven't Done Anything Except Talk So Far

I expect that I'll be able to knock off that last con soon. We talked about going to see a movie; he mentioned a foreign film about existentialism at a small theater down town this Wednesday. It should be fun.

Happy says that she doesn't like him. I don't know why Happy is here, but I told her to leave. She did cartwheels the whole way to the arch. I really wish Happy would lay off the sugar.

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(A/N) So there I was, surrounded by door-to-door insurance claim adjusters; when out of nowhere in particular appeared the greatest salami, provolone, sauerkraut, and pea soup sandwich the world has ever know. It saved me that day, and I thank my fixed rate full life coverage with the accidental decapitation clause every night because of it. So, review if you're feelin' it. And don't worry, when you're feelin' it, you'll know.


	15. October 19th

(A/N) muttz, I have no idea why you're creative with things other than reviews. Maybe you're like me and without a reason to write, you just can't really write. I'm much better in speaking my mind than writing it out. Canis Black, yes, Beast Boy really is that obtuse. He can't even remember the luck penny rhyme. You might be feeling like the civilian and Raven won't work out because I'm trying to keep you on the wrong foot…or you could just be perceptive. Either could happen given the laws of probability. And yes, the journey should be what captivates us in a good story, however, I like it even better when the lovely journey gets me where I want to go or at least some place that I realize I would have chosen had I known it was there. Elissar, impassioned fan with separation anxiety? Nice. And yes, to each his own. WickedWitchoftheSE, a talk with the tin man soon? Maybe…whoa…I just had this weird urge to sing, "If I Only Had a Brain". Go figure.

Disclaimer – Dear Sir or Madame, Is your life as full as it could be? Do you find large moments of your time are lacking in the thrills that you had in your younger days? Then maybe you should try not owning the Teen Titans. I don't own the Teen Titans and it's done wonders for me and my family. I even found the time to take up empty, dry lake that'll kill you upon impact cliff diving over the summer because of not owning the Teen Titans. So, come on and join the mindless sheep that we need to have a customer base to sell our worthless products to by not owning the Teen Titans today!

The Annotated Raven – October 19th

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11:45 p.m.

OK, so I was wrong. The movie was just people talking about existence with each other for four hours. FOUR HOURS. I may like to be intellectually stimulated, but this was just some lame writer's attempt at looking like he was cerebral. And then, after the painful event ended, Garrett wanted to talk about it.

I never realized how selfless most of the people I'm around all the time are. All of the Titans, Titans East, the police, paramedics, fire department. These are people who put themselves at risk to help others. Their entire life is typically built on the idea of doing what needs to be done when things go bad. Garrett is just too caught up in his own petty problems and it's driving me insane how often he complains. And most of the time it's about how people don't understand him! Fine, I get it! Let it go already!

I need to calm down.

OK, I meditated for a little while. I'm feeling much more in control. Affection says I should dump him, and I agree. He's just too worried about himself. It's not like he's egotistical or self-centered, he's just not somebody who sees much beyond his personal world. And he's boring. After we'd talked about the things that we have in common he just got more and more dull. He keeps reusing the same arguments against different things. It's like he built one way of talking about something and then copied it for every subject he knows.

I just realized that I'm planning to dump a guy for the first time in my life. It's almost cool, except for what I had to go through to get here.

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(A/N) No es una fuente importante de vitamina A, calico ni hierro. Los porcentajes de valores diarios están basados en una dieta de 2,000 calorías. Sus valores diarios pueden ser mayors o menores, dependiendo de las calories que usted necesite.


	16. October 31st

(A/N) A huge thank you to everyone who has reviewed, especially di who gave me the most pointless review I've ever gotten. It was awesome. bianca s, I snuck into her room and then just hopped into her mirror. Affection helped me find it. She said that the world needed to know. WickedWitchoftheSE, yes, Raven will find love. The real question is will she find love in this fic? And it's a yes for that one too.

Disclaimer – I'm buying alphabet soup so that I can spell out I don't own Scooby Doo. I've already spelled out that I don't own the Teen Titans. Weren't fifteen chapters of disclaimers enough for you people?

The Annotated Raven – October 31st

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1:30 p.m.

Dating still sucks. Garrett and I have been trying to get together for a week and a half and we weren't able to meet until today because either he wasn't available or I was off putting criminals in jail. It didn't feel right for me to break up with him over the phone, so I waited till today to tell him.

Instead, as soon as we met for lunch, he tells me that he can't deal with how little he gets to see me and how he can't compete with my life. So, instead of being asked to a Halloween party like I was expecting, he dumped me. I already went through the obstacle course so I could blow something up, and that helped. It's not that I wanted to go to a party or keep dating him, it's that I've been turned down, dumped, or duped by every guy I've ever gone after…except for Beast Boy. That's a completely different kind of frustration.

So now, here I am. No boyfriend, and no plans for Halloween, my favorite holiday because it's the only day where I'm normal and the people who don't dress up or look weird are the freaks.

11:45 p.m.

I'm only writing this because Affection won't leave me alone about it. Beast Boy invited me to the party that he was going to tonight and said that Garrett was invited too. When I told him about how we broke up he didn't say anything about how sorry he was or try to comfort me, instead he just said "dude, that sucks" and offered me as much of his Halloween candy as I wanted.

I asked him where he got the candy from and he admitted that he went trick or treating while it was still light out. I couldn't help but laugh when he said how many people had said his Beast Boy costume was ALMOST perfect. They said his face was a little too silly. I have to agree.

So now, as Affection pointed out to me, Beast Boy has done something that has been comforting to me after every broken heart I've ever had. I'll admit that I did want to be invited to a party. I'm just not supposed to want things like that, which is why it stunk that much more that Garrett dumped me.

Affection says I should try again with Beast Boy because of how nice he's being. I hope he actually notices this time. I think I'll try after he comes down from his sugar high.

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(A/N) My hockey stick broke last Thursday, and I've had it for seven years. It was an Easton Ultralight and I really liked that stick. Now I have to spend way too much money on buying a new one. Something as good as my Ultralight was costs a hundred to a hundred and fifty bucks. So, donations are welcome. You can send them to yourself and buy your own hockey gear so that the sport spreads like it should. Oh, and a review if you mean it is an excellent way to say, "your fic sucks."


	17. November 2nd

(A/N) Elissar, actually, you could go wrong if you managed to get a hernia getting out of a car or something. They'll screw you over any way they can. And, no, I've never had a Spanish class. I copied that off of a Pringles can. muttz, I'm a guy, I just have a lot of sisters. (Eight to be exact) And, Dallas Stars? That's terrible. Eddie "The Ego" Belfore is one of the worst examples of team loyalty and upholding your promises in the entire NHL. So here's the first chapter of the day. Heh…chapter…that's pretty pathetic that I get to call something this short a chapter.

Disclaimer – I own the Teen Titans, just like Al Gore invented the internet.

The Annotated Raven – November 2nd

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4:30 p.m.

OK, so I didn't really go into just why I needed to wait till Beast Boy comes down from his sugar high. Like I said before, he invited me to the Halloween party that he was going to. He told me I had to dress up and his idea was for everyone on the team to switch costumes. When I pointed out that Cyborg's costume is a little attached he said he had it covered. I still didn't really want to, so he gave me first pick.

I didn't tell him, but I liked the idea. Wearing Robin's costume was fun, so I decided to try someone else's. Since I didn't want to show as much skin as Starfire does and I didn't want to deal with the bulkiness of Cy's getup, I dressed up like Beast Boy. I never realized just how covered up he is. The only thing showing that isn't costume is his head. The gloves feel cool though.

I asked him why he covers up himself so completely and he said it was just the way the uniforms were on his old team. He never talks about them and I wonder why, but I don't want to invade his privacy. Maybe he'll return the favor, probably not.

Anyway, Beast Boy dressed up like Cyborg (he used spare parts), Robin dressed up like me, Starfire demanded to dress up like Robin, and Cyborg got stuck dressing up like Star. That was actually pretty disturbing to see.

At the party Beast Boy kept getting more and more hyper because there were bowls of candy sitting around, and he can't resist free sugar. I'm surprised he doesn't have diabetes already. I thought Cyborg ate a lot when he got that virus, but Beast Boy could out eat him any day.

He was more hyper than Starfire was the first time she went to the mall, which is why I was waiting till he came down from his little trip. If I had tried anything sooner, he would have just forgotten.

What was weird was that even though he was so hyper, he wasn't annoying. It's not that he wasn't doing anything that annoys me or that he was staying away from me, he was just unable to annoy me with anything he did, and that's all there is to it. Affection says that that's a good thing because when we like someone we're willing to accept them, faults and all.

So I guess the real reason it annoys me so much that he doesn't notice when I'm smiling more at him or asking him out on a date and not as just friends is because I want him to notice. And the worst thing about that is that I don't know why I want him to.

This time I think he really did notice though. We were all sitting around today, doing the usual, when Cyborg came up from the garage asking about lunch. Luckily it was Robin's day to cook, so we got Chinese take-out. I'm not a huge fan of Chinese food, but there are a few things I really like. Funny thing is that they're the same things Beast Boy likes because they're either something that's mostly steamed vegetables or noodles.

When the food got here everyone made their normal dash for grub, except me because I wanted to finish the chapter I was reading. When I got to the table I expected scraps and rice, but when I started searching through the nearly empty cartons Beast Boy walked over. He said something like "Looks like slim pickings." And when I told him I didn't expect anything less he handed me a plate of all my favorites.

To say I was shocked is my typical understatement. He said he saw that I was really into my book and dished me up a plate so I would actually get something to eat. I asked how he knew my favorites and he said that he didn't know why, bet he could remember anything I'd ever said I liked or enjoyed. Our black hole turned green can remember anything I like. I have no idea how to react to that. All I did then was let him change the subject.

He talked about some cartoon he likes coming out with a movie and how he was excited to see it, but that he didn't have anyone to go with. It sounded like he was offering, so I said I would go. His eyes got as wide as I've ever seen them and he shouted awesome a little too loud for me. (The others were just in the common room.) He said, "Then it's a date" and ran off to play videogames with Cyborg who had just announced his victory over Robin.

I really hope it is this time. It's strange enough that I like him, it's just too much of a blow to think that maybe I'm just that clueless with the whole dating thing that I can't get some guy to realize it. I don't think I could handle just telling him straight to his face. It was too painful the last time I tried that.

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(A/N) Hey, I haven't put up a chapter in a few days now, and I have a perfectly good reason for it. It was a combination of burnout on writing (even though I knew what I wanted to write), being stir crazy (try being alone in a warehouse size building for days on end without anyone to actually interact with), and just being lazy (go with your strengths they told me, idiots should have looked at what my strengths were first). So, all I can say is, oh well. Here's something now, ignore the man behind the curtain.


	18. November 4th

(A/N) So I was thinking of how to make it up to you people who read this fic because I haven't been updating all that much the past few days, when it occurred to me that I don't have to. I'm doing this for fun, which should be the same reason you're reading it. If you're reading this for pain, please discontinue use and see your doctor. (And that doctor should be a licensed psychiatrist.)

Disclaimer – I'm eating McDonald's breakfast sandwiches that I can only afford because I won them earlier this week in the Monopoly game and I stayed up all night because I can't get my mind to shut off since it doesn't get enough stimulation by living at my work because I'm homeless, and you're wondering if I own the Teen Titans?

The Annotated Raven – November 4th

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10:45 p.m.

We just got back from the movies. I was glad that it wasn't some kiddy cartoon. It was this weird show where there was something like thirty main characters. Some of it was funny; some of it was very, very intense. It was like a well-written serious drama and a Monty Python sketch merged together. Bizarre.

And Beast Boy can actually follow what's going on. It's like Cyborg with his soap operas.

I'm glad he's realized what I was doing this time. I even hugged him goodnight and he didn't freak out like he did the last time I hugged him. I'm not sure what else to really write about tonight. I watched the movie pretty closely so that I could understand what was going on, and we just had some small talk on our way back to the tower. He walked me to my room, I hugged him, and we said goodnight.

There's nothing else really to put down about it all. Except that I'm really happy right now. I feel about three quarters as good as I did when I realized we'd actually beaten Trigon. This has been one of the nicest days of my life, and I don't care that that sounds like a typical teenage girl's line.

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(A/N) I also had a lemon filled, powdered donut with breakfast. Not healthy (or healthful as a good friend of mine would correct me), but tasty. Now, I go to sleep till a little before I start work at 6pm.


	19. November 6th

(A/N) It's questionable answers time! Regrem Erutaerc, I probably won't have her cloak lighten, I subscribe to the all or none theory, Spellbound's possible evidence notwithstanding. The Halfa Wannabe, the way I put it in and the way you reviewed it are the only way I'm writing anything lemony into one of my fics. ;-)

Disclaimer – I don't own the Teen Titans. Isn't that hilarious? ……… Yeah? Well you suck too. Jerk.

The Annotated Raven – November 6th

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6:00 p.m.

I am fully and completely giving up on Beast Boy. He's just not worth going through this. I've been feeling so good lately, so obviously it was bound to end.

OK, here's what happened. I was just sitting in the common room, enjoying sitting next to him while I read. He turned to me and I smiled as I looked to see what he wanted. He said that he was going to a new club downtown that was supposed to be a lot more laid back than the one Blackfire took us to.

I felt great, thinking that he was asking me out again, when he says, "I don't have one, but you can bring a date if you want to."

I was literally ready to cry, Beast Boy noticed and asked what was wrong, but I didn't want to tell him what he was doing to me. I told him I got something in my eye and left the room. He came to my room later and asked if I was going, I told him no of course. Who would want to go through that? I can't believe he did it again.

Affection wants me to keep trying anyway. I think she'll eventually make it back to her own realm.

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(A/N) I wrote this because I'm actually not a fan of the BB/Rae pairing at all. It's a kind of stupid couple if you really think about it. Oh yeah, and I'm lying. But I really do think it's highly unlikely that those two will get together.


	20. November 24th

(A/N) I want to state how funny it would be if in the TV show they had Robin and Star finally get together and when they say so, Raven says something along the lines of "What took you so long? Beast Boy and I have been dating for half a year already." It would be funny…because I say so. **Phbbt!** Secondly, allow me to dispel the misunderstanding from an earlier chapter. I don't hate or even slightly dislike the BB/Rae pairing. I was being sarcastic. Sorry that some of you missed it, but that looks worse on your part than mine. ;-) Anyway, I would really like it if they got together; I just stated how unlikely it is for the TV show guys to put them together. When you have to figure in things like ratings for future seasons, then it pushes couples aside. Romantic tension gets more people to watch than happy pairings do, just a fact that the great overlord Nielsen has handed down to us. I'll answer the questions you guys had in my next post so that I have something to write in the author's note that isn't completely random.

Disclaimer – If at the end of the world, you are brought before the creator of everything, he's not going to ask if you owned the Teen Titans. So you see, there's no shame in not owning the Teen Titans. Most of us will never own them. Let the man upstairs work it all out. (The man upstairs is that guy who stomps on his floor when you play your stereo too loud.)

The Annotated Raven – November 24th

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9:00 p.m.

We had Thanksgiving dinner here at the tower with the Titans East today. I've only met them a few times. It was a nice meal, except for Beast Boy arguing with Cyborg about whether the turkey or the tofurkey (yuck) should be carved first. The only people who ate the tofurkey were Beast Boy and Aqualad.

After dinner, which was around three, Cyborg got everybody into a game of football. Well, almost everybody. I just didn't feel like being the ref this time and Aqualad doesn't really understand dry land sports. We talked on the sidelines while they played, I told him why they did certain things when he asked, but mostly we just shared villain fights.

The first time I met him was the only time I completely saw something the way Starfire does. He's just gorgeous. He's taller than I normally like, but he's got to be the best looking guy I've ever met. And he's actually got more than just his looks, a lot of pretty boys don't.

After we talked so much, he opened up a little more and he talked about how hard it is to date as a superhero. I told him about some of my mishaps, I left out the stuff about Beast Boy, and he understood fully why Garrett and I broke up so quickly. He said that he thinks that only another superhero could handle the constantly adjusting schedule and not be so bogged down by their own petty problems. A true hero has to be somewhat selfless by definition.

Since we were talking about dating he asked if I was dating anybody lately, and I didn't really think about what he might be doing, so I just casually said no and got smacked twice because of it. Once by the shock of him asking me out, and then again by the football because I was too shocked to notice it coming straight at me.

Cyborg apologized, and as soon as he was gone, I told Aqualad that a date would be fun. He laughed a little at that because I don't normally talk about things as being fun. He said he likes my smile. We're going to set something up over the next couple of days.

Affection says I should just do the pros and cons now.

Pros: Understands The Difficulties Of Being A Superhero, Very Good Looking, Smart, Very Calm

Cons: Lives Kind Of Far, Superhero, A Little Too Tall, Seemed Aloof

Yeah, there's not much to go off of yet. I'll be able to learn more about him when we got out. That'll be kind of nice. Finding out the details as I go to fill in the rough outline I already have. I wonder what we'll do.

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(A/N) I had a good weekend. I might be moving soon. I'll be going to the place where Bugs Bunny always misses the turn he was supposed to take. At least one person should figure that out. If not, I'm not going to tell where it is because of the sheer number of people who actively search fan fiction entries so they can hunt down the authors and insult them face to face rather than simply flame.


	21. November 29th

(A/N) Regrem Erutaerc, yes, yes I do. Elissar, it's not really a warehouse, it's just warehouse size. It's actually a roller rink; I'm the hockey director there. The Halfa Wannabe, yes really…what was the question? I'm guessing it has to do with my supposed BB/Rae doubt. I DO NOT DOUBT THE POWER OF THE PAIRING! I merely doubt the writers. ;-) Please note that the raised volume two sentences ago was for effect and not in anger. Please resume your regular reading sans apologetics. loaned, looking at your second question, I'd have to guess that your first was answered, but just in case, yes, he is clueless. And, the reason I do it is because I can! Bwahahahahaha! (Insert lightning crashes and loud crackles of thunder.)

Disclaimer – You know what's sad? The reason people put these things in their fics is because somewhere out there is some jerk who actually has a stick that far up his or her posterior that they went after some poor kid who was just declaring their enjoyment of a show through story creation. Those sick freaks, how dare they make us worry about being sued? I say we hunt them down and peel off their skin with a grapefruit spoon. Who's with me! And I don't own the Teen Titans…please don't sue me.

The Annotated Raven – November 29th

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11:30 a.m.

I got to talk with Aqualad today. We've both been too busy lately to have that date, but we set up something for next Monday. I asked Cyborg to figure out what days both Titans groups usually don't have any trouble. He came up with Mondays near the beginning of a month as the best, and then the rest of the Mondays and Thursdays. Very strange that even bad guys don't do Mondays.

Anyway, we're going to an aquarium…yeah…and then out to dinner. I still don't feel like he's fully involved when we talk, that aloof thing I was talking about before. I have no idea whether I should change clothes or not. He said he likes my smile, but what does he think of the rest of me? I know I shouldn't, but I feel really self-conscious around a guy that good looking.

The only thing I think I'm justified in being worried about is dinner. Will he be offended if I eat meat? Will he be taking us some place that doesn't even serve meat? Will a meatless place have any food I'll want to eat beside salad? Who knew that food would be this big of a hassle in dating?

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(A/N) Moving will be such a good thing for me. I'll actually be in the same city as my best friend and main collaborator. He and I just have a lot of fun coming up with stuff. I might even be getting to actually play in a band again. (He's that drummer that's a thousand miles away from the rest of the band.) Now, if I can just talk my other really good friend into coming with me.


	22. December 5th

(A/N) So, how're you doing? I just wanted to know. It's been strange having you around, but I like strange. It makes me feel comfortable. If you don't really like the whole strangeness thing, I'll change. I can change for you. No, wait! You don't have to go! It's me, isn't it? I always screw up things like this. I can't believe you're leaving. After I've done so much…I loved you. Doesn't that mean anything to you? Yeah? Well screw you too, butt hole! If I wanted abuse like this I wouldn't have run away from home! I suck? I SUCK! I'LL KILL YOU! I'll kill…OK, so I won't. I'm sorry baby…I didn't mean it. I can change…I'll do it for you…really…this time I will. I promise. What? No…I…I won't do that anymore. I already promised myself I'd never do that again. But why? Why do you need me to? It's so…normal. You know how much I hate normal. You do? You will! Oh, baby. I love you too.

Disclaimer – From the bowels of an Icelandic pop singer named Bjork come the dulcet tones of the new hit single "Wind Lane Doesn't Own The Teen Titans Cause He's A Loser, Yo."

The Annotated Raven – December 5th

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9:15 p.m.

What an absolutely pompous jerk! Aqualad showed up, late, to pick me up and the whole time we're driving (where'd he get a car anyway?) he's talking about how he's glad I accepted his date invitation because of how normal people just couldn't truly handle people like us. I didn't like the way that sounded, so I asked what he meant, and he went on to explain how such **common** people could never fully grasp what it's like being above the masses.

So that explains his aloof mood. He thinks of himself like some kind of king. I can see why Beast Boy got rubbed the wrong way by the guy when they met. He thought Beast Boy was beneath him too until he was proven wrong. I don't think he ever apologized for treating him like that. That would be beneath him too, I guess.

Instead of listening to him drone on and on about how superior us heroes are, I tuned him out while we checked out the aquarium. Turns out he only brought me there so he could show off his powers. He tried putting his arm around me a couple of times and after his second attempt I just told him to knock it off.

He acted indignant because of that…apparently ANY girl would be happy to be there with him, shouldn't I be too? Well that was the last straw. I told him just how superior he was acting, then told him to go join Trigon, and left.

Should I feel this good about having dumped somebody? I know that part of the reason it felt good was because of the look on his face when I phased back home, but I'm pretty sure the rest of it was because I dumped him instead of the reverse. Plus, we haven't really done much of anything together for there to be any kind of an attachment.

My date was a pig, my night out was ruined, and I'm smiling about the whole thing. Serves him right.

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(A/N) Paint fumes…anyway; I just wanted people to know…nothing! I'll tell you nothing of upcoming chapters! No matter how you torture me! Go ahead, buy me sports cars, feed me cherry ice cream, and scratch my back in that hard to reach spot, you'll get nothing from me. But you're allowed to do those things all you want. And review…but only if you've finished all your vegetables.


	23. December 7th

(A/N) Wow, a lot of people reviewed last night. Thank you for those reviews, here's one of my own! "Your fic is nice and all, but couldn't you make the chapters a little longer and have some scenes with actual dialogue in between diary entries? It'd really flesh out the story in my opinion." To which I would think in my head, but never say since it's rude, "Idiot. Doesn't he know that it's supposed to be short entries since I said so in the beginning of the whole story? Probably one of those people who only reads the actual chapter and ignores everything else. If he likes his ideas so much he should just write his own #& fic." But what I would answer in the Q&A section in here would look like this: "Actually, I'm having the story be just diary entries, and since Raven is such a reserved person, I'm having it affect how much she'd actually talk about her own emotions. I don't put in any dialogue-based scenes because I wanted the whole thing to be as if we were reading her diary. Hopefully she won't find out and kill us. ;-)" See? So now, when I answer YOUR questions, you'll have to ask yourself, "is he being straight forward with that answer, or just being nice?" ;-) On to the Q&A! loaned, not really, I'm easy to please; just I like to keep my secrets. They keep people guessing. Elissar, don't worry, I'm probably going by train, and yes, lemon zesters would be fine. That friend of mine is my main collaborator in almost everything. I bounce most of my ideas off of him, he's rubbery, and he gives a good viewpoint on them. And, just what is wrong with steamed snow peas? They're good! Buried Fairy Tale, I don't know if he was or not, this is Raven's diary. ;-) Emerald Venom, in Raven's defense, he asked her out and it was only their first date. Plus she got to slam dunk a jerk, anybody else know how good that feels?

Disclaimer – Top ten things you're likely to never own. 10, Buckingham Palace. 9, a brand new Porsche. 8, me. 7, the Teen Titans. 6, the rights to the Beatles music. 5, every episode of the Simpsons. 4, a politician (it's not that they're not for sale, they're just so expensive.) 3, all the answers. 2, all the CORRECT answers. And, the number 1 thing you're likely to never own….Bill Gates! He owns you.

The Annotated Raven – December 7th

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11:00 a.m.

All the bad mood part of having a bad date showed up yesterday. I would have written about it then, but I just wanted to sulk. I guess Beast Boy noticed, because this morning he asked if I was feeling any better. When I didn't really answer him, I just grunted, he asked if Aqualad had done anything to get fresh.

Half of me wanted to burst into laughter at hearing Beast Boy say something as old fashioned as 'get fresh', and the other half was stunned that he'd noticed and cared what was wrong. Now that it's been a little while since I talked with him, I should have known he would notice and care. He's always been a good friend, with or without his obliviousness.

I told Beast Boy that nothing like that happened and that no one's ever tried. He made me blush by saying how he didn't believe that no one had ever tried. He saw me blushing and added in, "I'd even bet that you'd get more offers than Starfire if people could see under your hood." I think I mumbled a thank you as I tried to pull my hood up. I jumped when he suddenly reached out a hand and stopped me. He just lightly laid his hand on my wrist and said that I should keep it down, and that it made the room look better.

Since I was already blushing, and since he'd already seen it, I kept it down. Then he asked what Aqualad did to get me in such a bad mood. I told him how arrogant and stuck up he had been and Beast Boy laughed a little. He said Aqualad always thinks he's the best, so the people he associates with need to be the best too. He thinks that's why he asked me out. And that was another thing that made me a little red in the face.

But when I asked him why he didn't tell me about that before my date, he stuttered for a little bit and then blurts out, "I didn't think you'd believe me." That was a big slap in the face. Of course, he was right though. Still, I don't like to think of myself as mistrusting, but I guess I am. I told him that I was sorry and he just smiled, his fang poking out like it does, and shrugged it off.

We got called off to our morning training right after that. While I was doing my warm ups, I kept looking over at Beast Boy, he was joking with Cyborg, and I was thinking about everything he had said. It was all really kind or pleasant and caring. I went back through this journal, looking at all the entries that have him in them and I kept finding that kind of stuff over and over again. Even all of his pros are things he does just for me. He treats me like I want someone to, but he does it because he's my friend. How would he treat me if I were his girlfriend?

I don't think I can handle this. I like Beast Boy and I can't get him to notice me, and the only other idea I have is to just straight out tell him. That scares me too much, so I need an alternative. Affection says she's glad I'm giving him another chance. But, to me this doesn't feel like giving him another chance. This feels like I'm trying to get him to give me a chance.

I just realized that this is like what happened with Robin; only I'm not being ignorant about what he's feeling.

I think I know what I'm going to do, well, at least part of what I'm going to do. I'm going to keep trying until he does notice. I won't do anything that looks desperate and I won't just come out and tell him, but I won't quit until he figures it out.

I might ask Cyborg for help, but I don't know if I can trust him with this kind of information. I'll see.

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(A/N) I guess the only thing to say here is flurb. It's a pointless, made up word, but it's fun. Try it. Flurb, flurb, flurb, flurb, flurb.


	24. December 15th

(A/N) The Halfa Wannabe, interesting, but uhm, what is flurp? WickedWitchoftheSE, no, I'm sorry, the next entry is the fifteenth, I've already planned out all the remaining days' entries, but I hope that something better than your birth date being used in a fan fic happens for your actual birthday. loaned, actually, I DID know that that was another nonsense word. My favorite nonsense poem of all time is The Jabberwocky by Lewis Carol (real name Charles Doddridge). Emerald Venom, yes, flurb. Elissar, first answer, yes, kill you, second answer, yes, kill you…and the repeating questions is why. I hate it when people are redundantly repetitive. twins, you might not like me by the time you read this…that is, IF you read it. Thank you for all the reviews and questions. I really like answering questions, even rhetorical ones.

Disclaimer – If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. That's an old saying. I updated it. If wishes were Teen Titans, fic authors would own…them…but…but we don't…and that sucks. OK, so it's lame, but so am I. At least I'm willing to admit that. Of course, most of my lameness comes from the fact that so many of you stole my cool whilst I was an unsuspecting infant of thirty-five. I want it back.

The Annotated Raven – December 15th

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4:30 p.m.

OK, so Beast Boy is still clueless. I've been flirting with him so much that even Starfire found me while I was alone to ask if I liked him. This calls for more drastic measures. I wish I knew what those were without having to ask for help.

So I went and talked to Cyborg. He laughed at first, but stopped pretty quickly. I'm sure it was out of respect for my feelings and not because I was floating his car over the ocean.

He thinks it'll be really easy. He says he knows what he's going to do, but that he can't tell me about it because then it might not work. He said I'd get to know whether it's going to work or not by tomorrow. I feel like the sad, desperate girl who has trouble getting a date to prom.

I guess I should just wish Cyborg and myself good luck, but I think if I had any luck I wouldn't need to do this.

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(A/N) Short entry, but another should be out sometime tonight…maybe really late tonight, but tonight. Besides, it's not like people are really waiting on entries or something. Your reviews mean nothing to me, NOTHING! That having been said, review if you feel what you have to say is worthwhile.


	25. December 16th

(A/N) So here's that second entry. I'm trying to type it up before my work shift starts, but that's probably not gonna happen. I'll finish it up later tonight in that eventuality. And, this sentence is being added on after work…it's only 1:30 in the morning.

Disclaimer – I have money right now, I just got paid. But even with that money, it's not enough to buy the Teen Titans. I checked. The dude said it would be something like sixty billion dollars. That's what Warner Brothers is going for these days, and they own DC.

The Annotated Raven – December 16th

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5:45 p.m.

I am going to kill Cyborg. Not something that would normally go in a journal of this sort, but I find that it's important to list the pertinent facts.

So I was reading after lunch, during lunch I confirmed that Beast Boy is still oblivious to everything I do…even when it's something like scooting my chair closer to him for no reason as we ate, anyway, Cyborg walks up to me grinning like he does when something has gone exactly like he wants it to. That usually means a good prank. This time he just comes bouncing towards me, leans in, and says that it's all set up.

I ask him what he did and he starts to describe, in typical giddy Cyborg mode, how he was going to do all these little things to make Beast Boy keep seeing me or my name and then something that very plainly represents a guy asking a girl out. He said that he even had this one planned where Beast Boy would come in just as some Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks movie comes to the part where they have a moment and then one of them asks the other out, with me sitting in plain sight the whole time.

I caught that he said 'planned' and not 'did' and asked him why that was, and his answer is why he's going the way of all scrap metal. He said that he went into Beast Boy's room and on the spur of the moment, changed his mind. Instead he decides to just tell Beast Boy that he should ask me out. He said something to him like, "You two have been getting along really well, and she's always giving you these looks, and I've seen you giving her some looks too."

The only reason I haven't killed him **yet** is because of what he said Beast Boy's reaction was. He said that Beast Boy kind of sheepishly admitted that he does take some looks when he knows I'm not looking, but that he never tries anything because he's not sure I would accept, and that a rejection from me might be a little stronger than most other girls.

I can't say I blame him, but I really wish he'd just try. Maybe now he will. Cyborg did say that he looked really thoughtful and that he asked Cy for a favor that he had to promise not to tell anyone, so I don't know what he's got in mind. I can't decide if that's good or bad.

Cyborg lives as long as this whole thing doesn't blow up in his face, and I made sure that he knows.

I really hope he lives.

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(A/N) So Chris Brown is coming to the rink I work at tomorrow. It's going to be insane. A local radio station and the rink got together to hold a fundraiser for hurricane Katrina victims and tomorrow's the event. We're only allowing somewhere around five hundred people in the door, but I honestly expect we'll have to turn away over a thousand. For those of you who don't know who Chris Brown is, he's an R&B singer and he's got a pretty popular song out right now called "Run It". Not really my kind of music, but it's good publicity for the rink and it's for charity, so it'll be pure and total chaos, but in a good way.


	26. December 22nd

(A/N) I just had this weird memory of a scene from "Spies Like Us". Anyway, some of you asked questions…here are the answers: The Halfa Wannabe, OK, so you didn't ask a question, but you did post the first ever Cliff Notes™ style thing for one of my stories…and it was funny. Emerald Venom, yeah, R&B, but at least he was a decent performer. He even did a back flip at the end of his song. But it was pure chaos…500+ people were let in before we closed the doors, and then some idiot thinks it's a good idea to pop open an outside door and let a small crowd in. We kicked him and his small crowd out. Being really stupid, avoid it. And your second question, what? Oh, well, I'm one of those weird-os that likes all the Titans and wants them to all live happily ever after. Elissar, it's good because good business for the rink means more people who **might** play hockey here. I don't get any money from the event, and I don't own the place or any part of it, I just really love this place (it's where I played in my first organized league) and I want to see it flourish. I also skated here when I was in elementary school…I wasn't quite as tall then, 'cause young people grow.

Disclaimer – If I owned the Teen Titans…no…I'm sorry, but everybody does this kind of a disclaimer. It's so tired. Instead, I'll declare what I'll do since I DON'T own the Teen Titans. I'll write fan fics. Kinda obvious.

The Annotated Raven – December 22nd

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10:00 p.m.

So, this is the end of the first week since Cyborg put his (anything but a) plan into action. I wouldn't be able to tell anything had changed if what happened today hadn't happened.

During the week Beast Boy's been just as normal as he ever gets…sort of. I keep getting a weird vibe from him. I can't tell what it means; I just know it's making me nervous. Take last Tuesday for an example. He asked me if I wanted to go to lunch with Starfire. Why didn't Starfire just ask me herself?

I got suspicious about it and checked my room after I got back. Beast Boy was trying to look innocent while playing video games. I didn't find anything, but it still doesn't explain why it felt like a set up.

But today…I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling because I've never felt this before. Affection says it's nothing new; it's just a large dose of several emotions mixed together. I asked her which ones and she said it was gratitude, affection, relief, awe, and timidity. She said there were others too, but that those were the main ones.

I want to describe what he did really well so that I can remember it like I do right now whenever I read this. This morning, I woke up early, like I usually do, and when I went into the common room I was surprised with the sight of Beast Boy already up.

What made it even stranger was that he was reading…intensely. I must have startled him, because he jumped a little when he heard me set the kettle on the stove. He tried to hide his book, so I naturally wanted to see what it was. He protested a little, but I just snatched it from him with my powers.

I was smiling at him as it came to me; he looked cute in his defeated stance with his ears drooping. But instead of gloating more, I almost had a panic attack. He was reading the Book of Azar. When I asked him why he was reading it he put one of his hands behind his head like he does when he's nervous and told me that he was thinking about everything. He said that he felt ashamed that Malchior could understand me so easily, while he had such a hard time at it.

He told me he was sorry that he ever thought I was creepy. He said he had said it because of how little he actually understood about me. He was reading the book to fix that. He wanted to understand me so that some jerk outsider couldn't just come in and take advantage of how badly my own friends understand me. Those were his words.

Then he said that he wasn't done, but that he was making progress. He said that the part he just read was about chakras. He thinks it's cool that mine actually does all the things the book said it's supposed to. Then he asked why I have one, since my powers are the results of my parentage (he didn't use that word) and my training in magic.

I explained how it's not a normal gemstone and how it is basically the thing that allows me to keep control while at the same time lets me release my powers. I was very glad he figured out that it was all about self-control.

I thought that all of this was very sweet of him and touching that he wanted to understand that much more about me, but what made it all so special was what he said after we were done talking about what he'd read.

He said that he had discovered two things in trying to learn more about my powers and first home. "First, I found out that you're a lot more powerful than anybody else on the team. I guess you don't use it all 'cause you're kinda scared of your powers." I couldn't answer anything after he said that because it's true. But, rather than let me just feel exposed he went on, "The other thing I learned was that nobody was allowed to get close to you…not even your mom." He looked like he was ready to cry. I was about to explain why and then leave, but he started talking again. "I wish that I could've met you then. I wouldn't have let them treat you like that. I don't like it when adults don't treat kids with love…even when it's just because they're scared. Can I ask you a question?"

He kind of caught me off balance with that because he sounded so hurt for me, like he really did want to change what had happened. Since I didn't know what he was going to ask, it made me really nervous and I just nodded for him to continue.

"Can I give you a hug?"

I've never been asked anything like that before. Whenever I felt like hugging someone it was usually because of how strongly I was feeling right then, and I don't let people just touch me, so it was unexpected. I just nodded again and he stepped forward and pulled me gently into his arms. As it was happening I realized what it felt like…it felt like someone was holding me after I'd hurt myself. I've never had that feeling before…that feeling that someone thought the most important thing in the world is making me feel better. I didn't even know that it really did matter to me that much, but he kept saying how he was sorry that I had lost my parents too.

When he did that, I couldn't help it, I cried. I just let those bottled in feelings out and cried for the loss of parents that either wanted me for their own gain or kept me away for my own safety. I'm glad we're close to the same height, because I wanted to hide my face and his shoulder is just right for that. Thinking back on it now, the only thing that might have been better about that moment, would have been if he knew how I feel about him.

The rest of the day we just hung out. He got me my tea, and I didn't complain when he did his victory dance during his video games. It was nice; I just wish that it went deeper than him being a very good friend. At least he said things that feel like he thinks of us as more than just friends. I hope the illusion lasts longer than the last couple of times.

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(A/N) I really like liver. Sure, most people don't, but I'm not most people. I'm just me. Mi re do re mi.


	27. December 23rd

(A/N) I got the most interesting review for one of my other stories. It was a flame, but it was meant for one of the people who reviewed my story, not me. Does that sound like mafia style dealings to anyone else? You shoot the people associated with your target to make him suffer. OK, so that's a little extreme, but it still made me laugh with how absurd it was. Rather than flame back or retaliate in the normal ways, I proof read his flame and emailed him an edited version that corrected his errors in grammar and vocabulary. I also offered some suggestions for a possible rewrite that would make his message clearer. I'm waiting to see if he replies to find out if he thinks I was being serious or sarcastic or just plain old caustic. To answer the few who'll read this paragraph, I was being serious…with a little tongue in cheek action on the side. I gotta be me. ;-)

Disclaimer – Picture if you will a dimension of turmoil, a dimension of grief, a dimension where some sad, pathetic, loser like myself actually owns the Teen Titans. This is not that dimension, for we have entered…THE FANFIC ZONE!

The Annotated Raven – December 23rd

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11:45 p.m.

I don't know how much more of this I can take. He's not being oblivious. He's been making me blush or smile all day. It's like he's on some kind of a quest.

He made me breakfast, nothing big, except that he had to wake up about four hours earlier than he normally does. Plus, he left me alone about trying tofu. It was nice sitting in the quiet, just eating together. Then he gets this funny look on his face, kind of a half smile, half unfocused look. I would have guessed he was scheming up some prank or other, except that he was staring at me while he had it. I asked why he was looking at me like that and he said he was just thinking how cool it was that he was getting to eat a calm, meat free breakfast with a beautiful woman.

I'm glad I already had my hood up. He didn't stop though. He then goes on to say how cool it's been hanging out with me because he always feels happier when I'm around. I laughed a little at that because I didn't believe him, and he gave me one of the most serious looks I've ever seen him have. He said, "Don't laugh. I make all my jokes because I'm usually the happiest person in the room and I don't think that's fair. But with you…I can't help but feel happy. I think that's why I try so hard to make you smile and laugh. You make me feel pretty good a lot of the time, even when you're poking fun at me, and I want you to have that too."

So I was blushing again that he was saying things like that. Luckily, he had to stop because the others were starting to wake up and come in for their morning feed.

Still, even with everyone around, I kept feeling him looking at me. Any time I turned to look he'd make eye contact, smile, and then turn back to whatever he was doing.

Lunch wasn't much different either. He even pulled out my chair for me. I asked him where he'd learned that and he grinned and said it was in some old movie that was on TV. "The guy is always supposed to help the lovely young lady into her chair…well…the dude said something like that."

Blushing behind my hood again, I smirked at him because it was such a typical Beast Boy way of quoting a line. I thanked him and called him a gentleman for doing it. He smiled with this proud look in his eyes. I laughed a little, and he did too. We stopped when the others came in.

I'm glad that he knows me enough to not say things like he's been saying in front of anybody else. They're my friends, but I like that it's meant for only us.

He was doing the look till I look, smile, and turn back to whatever again during almost the whole afternoon. That and the way he's been complimenting me every chance he gets and the way he's done so many little things for me are why I don't know how much more I can take.

Dinner made it worse. He somehow talked Cyborg out of his cooking duties (Cy loves his steak nights) and made my favorite, Chicken Cordon Bleu. Sure it was store bought, but it was the thought of it. Long grain brown rice on the side. Anyway, after dinner I went onto the roof to meditate and he was already up there looking at the stars.

I sat down on the edge next to him and we just watched the night passing. I turned to look at him, just to make some small talk, and he turns his head at the same time. I don't know how long I just sat there looking into his eyes, even the 'whites' of his eyes are green, they're beautiful.

That feeling of not being able to take it anymore welled up again and I had the strongest desire to kiss someone that I've ever had.

But before I could do anything he turned away. He started talking, I don't really know what he was saying, I was wallowing in my missed opportunity, and then I suddenly picked up that he was talking about me again. The main thing I caught was, "You're a lot prettier than them."

I didn't know what I was being compared to, so I asked and he said, "The stars." I didn't care that he wasn't looking into my eyes like before, I was going to grab him and just kiss him when our communicators came beeping to life announcing that some idiot thought that now was a good time to break Cinderblock out of jail.

We got back and Beast Boy went straight to bed because he was the main one to fight the concrete moron. I was really impressed; he's improved so much as a fighter. But why did it have to happen tonight? Affection's glad I wrote down so much of what happened today, me too.

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(A/N) You know? I wrote the entries where Raven is upset about a relationship going wrong most times when I wasn't feeling as upbeat. I think it helped some. I can't say I'm flying high right now, so I don't know if that's bringing down this entry, but with the help of rock piano king, Ben Folds, I've been as up as I can be. Rock that piano. Review if you can name the two people who were in Ben Folds Five with Mr. Folds without looking it up or review if you have something else to say. But I absolutely forbid any of you to review if you're going to talk about brussel sprouts. They're good and it's been so long since I've had some.


	28. December 25th

(A/N) Elissar, I would recommend you start taking your medication. ;-) Jin Flows, yep, I believe Raven is the strongest. I use as my premise the smack down she laid on Slade in The Prophecy. He tries to leave and she absolutely thrashes him. Yes, Starfire is much, MUCH stronger. So's Cyborg, but it doesn't matter if they can't hit her, which many villains have failed in. I point to her force fields for this, in The End Pt. 1 we again see her strength as the other four Titans combined can't break through. In my mind, she's the most powerful; she's just afraid of her own power and therefore doesn't just open the throttle the whole way. Too much fear of losing control. Remove that fear and she's hands down most powerful.

Disclaimer – (Set your decoder rings to A-13 for this one.) 21, 16, 1, 26, 6, 1, 9, 26, 6, 20, 17, 6, 17, 17, 26, 6, 21, 6, 13, 26, 5.

The Annotated Raven – December 25th

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8:30 p.m.

I've never been more confused in my whole life. I have no idea what's going on between Beast Boy and me. We did a name swap for Christmas, I got Starfire, and he got me. I'd almost forgotten we'd done that. We picked names some time around the beginning of October. I just bought Starfire gift cards for her favorite stores in the mall and a card that said I'd go with her to spend them. She liked that I was going with her best…I second-guessed that so many times, I really don't like the mall.

Anyway, Beast Boy got me two presents. The first one was a pair of crystal raven bookends. They're a good size and weight, so they'll actually do their job; I was glad that they weren't just for decoration. I had to leave the room so that I didn't break down in front of everyone with the second present.

Just by the feel of it I could tell it was a picture in a frame. I thought it would be some shot of all the Titans or of just Beast Boy and me, but it was of my mother. Beast Boy said he found it with a lot of help. It's only an old driver's license photo enlarged, but it's the only photo I have of her.

He came to my room after I ran out. I just grabbed him in a hug when I saw him. I must have said thank you a hundred times. After I let go he just smiled and said I'd forgotten the card that goes with it. He left after he handed it to me, saying that he'd leave so I could look at the photo some more.

I opened the card and he wrote how the presents were for the best friend he's ever had. That card is why I'm so confused. How can he keep saying the things he says and then call me a friend? I'm not as clueless as I used to be, those are things that get said when you're flirting or dating or just to be romantic. What's going on? Is he still clueless…even about himself?

His presents were perfect, why'd he have to spoil it with what he wrote in that card?

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(A/N) That guy who wrote me the flame for a reviewer wrote back. He apologized, apparently he was acting on emotion because his friend was flamed pretty harshly for being a RobxRae fan and her self-esteem was pretty hurt because of it. I really don't understand the point in flaming because of a person's pairing preference. I have my preference, they have theirs, it's like politics. We're allowed to differ in opinion, respect that. Anyway, please don't flame anybody because of pairings…except me.


	29. December 28th

(A/N) I'd like to dedicate this chapter to WickedWitchoftheSE as a type of blackmail to get her to keep writing. Now everybody go read her fic "We Three Spirits" and review/spam her until she continues writing the rest of that exquisite story. It's like a well made meal, it's worth savoring. Flying-Grayson, I think my favorite from that album would be Jesusland and Alice Cooper seems like he'd be a lot of fun to see live.

Disclaimer – It's third and twelve, fourth quarter, we're down by six, and there's only enough time on the clock for one play. We'll run our special option hail Mary, the "I don't own the Teen Titans" flail, on three. Ready…BREAK!

The Annotated Raven – December 28th

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11:15 p.m.

The best that could have happened...did. I thought that Beast Boy was still clueless because of his Christmas card to me, but I was the one being clueless. I've never been happier for being wrong.

I guess I was sulking a little, because yesterday after lunch he came and sat by me on the couch. He looked like he wanted to say something, but was too nervous to. So, I just asked him what he wanted. He asked if something was wrong, saying that I seemed kind of down.

I couldn't tell him the truth, so I just said that I was just feeling a little down because of the holidays. It's not totally untrue, but the reality is that the holidays force me to see how few family and real friends I have.

He just nodded his head in understanding and then smiled in a very shy way. I gave him a questioning look and he smiled a little more. Then he starts to say all these things about how he's going to ask me something, but that I'm not allowed to get mad or hurt him or anything like that.

I was so nervous because he said that. He was either going to say something that would be exactly what I wanted or it would be something where I would want to kill him. I think I did pretty well at hiding it; I just told him I promise.

He swallowed hard and then asked if I wanted to go with him to dinner and a movie. I was pretty sure that he was asking me out on a real date, but I wanted to be sure. So, I played dumb and asked why he was so nervous since we do stuff together all the time.

That got him to smile his normal smile and he says, "yeah, but this would be a…a date." I pointed out that he's said that before too, and he said, "well…I…uhm, would you be mad if I said it was the not-just-friends kind of date?"

I couldn't help but smile a little myself after that. I said I'd like to go on that kind of a date and he whooped. I laughed a little when he stared wide-eyed at me when he realized how that might look. He must have thought I wouldn't like him celebrating. I asked when the date would be and he said tomorrow and now I'm here in Affection's realm writing after our first date, a REAL date.

The date was pretty nice. We went to Baker's Square, which is a type of upscale trucker's greasy spoon with pies. He kept doing all these little nice things. He opened doors for me, pulled out my chair and helped me get seated, and he even made sure my order was taken first. When I asked him where he learned manners he said "old movies." Who would've thought that all his TV watching would turn out to be a good thing?

He whined a little when I ordered fish, but stopped when I reminded him how many times he's asked me to try tofu. I never accept, but I never make him stop asking either.

The movie afterwards was a romantic comedy, not my thing, but at least it wasn't just some cheap knock off of some other romantic comedy. I think the movie made Beast Boy uncomfortable; he squirmed around in his seat during the intimate parts.

Even though nothing really eventful happened, I was just happy that it was a real date at last. He did make a fumbling attempt at putting his arm around me during the movie. I would've let him, but he bumped my head with his hand in the dark and panicked till he gave up with a timid little "sorry".

When we came home I kept wondering if he was going to try a goodnight kiss or anything like that, so I was kind of tense. All he did was give me a goodnight hug at my bedroom door. It's a start.

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(A/N) It's after one in the morning, and I'll be walking home with a hockey stick for protection. Hockey solves everything. Review if you're interesting, rich, and single. Wait…that's not quite right…uhmmmmmmmmm…got it…you also need to be female. Or, you could just review if you wanted to say something.


	30. January 8th

(A/N) Holy crap, it's been a long time since I've updated. Most of that is the move I just went through. I'm now in the shadow of mountains...barely...here in New Mexico. There was also the matter of this being the first entry I've ever done a major rewrite of. I just wasn't happy with how it was going. Now to the questions that have been asked. ChessYogaRaven, uhm…hate to burst your bubble, but I'm a guy. Elissar, hockey could too solve world hunger! All you have to do is convince Red Wings fans that every single game is the game where they're supposed to throw octopuses on the rink. (They do that because it used to take eight wins to get the Stanley Cup in the playoffs.) You take all those octopuses and ship 'em out, and boom, world hunger solved. ;-) Emerald Venom, the hockey puck would hurt more than a baseball. The puck weighs more and it's frozen solid before every game. Frozen hunk of rubber that also moves faster than the best fastball (baseball tops at about 102 or 103 mph, while pucks can get above 110 mph in game play, roller hockey pucks can get above 120 mph) it's just a giant piece of ouch. GoldenBlade416, I almost believed the only have great left to say until you reviewed the next two chapters. :-) The story is ending soon, but I don't give away upcoming details just in case I change what I'm thinking I might do. Pokemon Fan, the reason I wrote Aqualad like that is because I **could** see him acting like that, not that I think that is how he acts, plus I wanted to give Raven a really easy decision about dumping someone. Prince V, I definitely think the poem's Teen Titans enough. Trainbang, it's not so much that I've been through all these things as I know people who've been through some of them, have been through a few myself, and have a decent imagination. I think the first and third are the most important for writing. No one will have experienced everything they write about, so get to know people and really listen to them, the knowledge gained will help with imagining the missing gaps. ntmnky, I actually thought that I came up with Tofurkey myself...I can't decide if I should be ashamed or disgusted. It's both. Catmedium, yep, in the early going that is. Bizmarck, the end is well within sight. a fan of your fiction, it's not over yet, I just stopped writing for an unholy number of months after moving to a new state. Honestly, it's been eating at me that I've left finishing this story up for so long, I've always been of the mind that if you start something, you should finish it, even if it gets difficult, uncomfortable, or boring. This was none of those; I have just allowed myself to be easily distracted and lazy. Somebody crack a whip.

Disclaimer – I Do OwN One TOtally Wicked New Toy…a HockEy sTick madE by itEch. NexT I'm Trying A New reebok Shaft. now just read only the capitalized letters.

The Annotated Raven – January 8th

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10:00 a.m.

Beast Boy is now officially an idiot. He somehow managed to not only ruin what's been happening lately, but he also managed to make me look like a laughingstock in the process.

Since our first real date we've been going out as often as we can. There's been a lot of criminal activity lately. I guess they think the holidays make it OK for them to rob people. Morons. Anyway, I only want to write about one moron right now.

So Beast Boy has been doing really well in all of these dates. He's kept up with his manners and he keeps complimenting me in ways that make Malchior seem like an amateur. Like the day before yesterday, he told me how good it makes him feel when I smile or laugh because of something he did. Then he gets this odd look on his face and says that no matter what happens, his life won't be a waste just because he made me smile. I think I would have kissed him if there wasn't a table in the way. Stupid table.

I'm getting off track. He's been saying and doing things like that, but that's it. It's like letting a child see the cookies, smell the cookies, tell them they can have one, and then never delivering. I don't like being the aggressor in a relationship, but it was getting to the point where I had to be, and that's where it all started to go wrong.

Last night we went to some fair and all the rides put us close together. I'm not proud of it, but I acted more nervous during the rides than I really felt so that he would put his arm around me or hold my hand or anything. It worked, which is why I now understand why girls let guys take them to scary movies and things like that.

I don't know how, but I got him to take me on this long, slow ride where you're just in a box hanging from a cable that goes over the whole park. It's meant to be scenic. I sat right next to him and we talked about what rides we enjoyed. I pointed out something on my side of the cart and when he turned to look at it I turned back to face him.

That put us about as close to kissing as we've ever been, and I kept looking at his eyes and lips. He still didn't do anything, so I just closed my eyes and kissed him. He kissed me back and it was one of the most powerful experiences I've ever had. While we were kissing he just reached around me and held me and all I could do was pull him closer. Kissing him had so many things in it. It's almost painful with how good it feels, and then there was what was behind it. It was the perfect way for me to show how he makes me feel.

After we got off the ride we just kept smiling at each other and he held my hand as we walked around. There must have been some news crew there doing some kind of slice of life piece on the fair, because they spotted us and rushed over. It was like a hurricane of questions; she just kept on asking anything that came to mind before we'd finished answering. She must have been new.

She kept asking stuff like 'why did you come to the fair?' 'What's it like being a teenage superhero?' 'Are you two holding hands because you're going out?' It was that last question that got Beast Boy in trouble.

He just looked at the camera and in an overly loud voice proclaims me his girlfriend. On television. WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST!

I could have killed him. Instead I just waited till the TV crew was done and left us to start editing their top story for that night. I can't remember if I yelled at him about telling the whole city (and probably the world once the footage is picked up by the network affiliate) that we were an item or if I yelled at him about him not asking me if I even wanted to be his girlfriend.

He tried to look innocent and just asked with his eyes as wide as they could go, "but you do **want** to be my girlfriend, don't you?" If he was trying to find sympathy, he was in for disappointment. I told him how mad I was that he would ever assume something like that and then tell it to the whole world.

He laughed, which is why I snapped. He was starting to say that it wasn't a bad thing when I grabbed him with my powers and flung him into a nearby fountain. I stormed off and came in here to write all of this out so that I could figure out why he said what he said and also so that I wouldn't keep throwing him back into the water whenever he got out.

I kicked Affection out pretty quickly too because she kept saying I had overreacted and that I needed to apologize. I don't really want to think about this anymore. I'll try and figure out why he would do something so stupid tomorrow, cause I'm done writing about my worse date ever now.

3:15 p.m.

So now I'm the idiot. I left my room to get some lunch after writing in this thing and Beast Boy was in the kitchen apparently with the same idea. I was still mad at him for what he did, so I just gave him the silent treatment as I gathered up what I needed to make tea. As I started to fill the kettle he turned and saw what I was doing and said something that sounded like, "knew I forgot something." I couldn't really tell, since he was mumbling.

While I waited for the water to boil I went to go look in the fridge, but Beast Boy was in the way and he wouldn't move. I tried being as short with him as possible as I told him to get out of my way and he just tells me no. I think he noticed that I wasn't expecting him to refuse and he just turns to me and says, "you're already mad at me and I'm using the fridge for what I'm doing, you can go to the table and wait till I'm finished. Take your tea with you so that you've at least got something."

He didn't look mad, and he didn't look like he was trying to give me the cold shoulder, he was just telling me to wait my turn. If I wasn't mad at him when he did it, I would have thought it was cool for him to be that calm and collected. I really didn't want to fight, so I just did what he suggested and sat down to wait with my tea.

I was starting to zone out with the warm of the tea and the quiet around me. Beast Boy was just making small noises as he worked on the food he had; it seemed like he was being really exacting and precise. After about ten more minutes he comes over to the table and sits down. I wasn't really paying attention, just kind of lost in thought.

Just as I was about to get up to find something for myself he leaned over. "Rae, I'm sorry I said that you were my girlfriend before I even asked you to be. I'm sorry I said it to that reporter too. I just…I just thought we'd been having so much fun together and that we were really starting to feel totally comfortable together. And after that kiss I just thought…well, I just thought that it was a given. I'm just sorry that I messed up."

He never looked at me; he just kept pushing his food around his plate with his fork.

"Uhm, I hope you like what I made."

It wasn't until after he said that that I noticed he had set a plate down for me too. He said he did it because I hadn't come down for breakfast and because it was another way he could apologize. I kind of stared at my food at first and then just started eating.

It was just a nice simple meal, really, a fruit salad, a vegetable salad, and a pasta salad. You'd have thought I would be making some comment about everything being a salad, but I just sat there with him eating in silence.

And the worst thing was, the more I ate, the more guilty I felt about what I'd done to him. He was just about to take away the plates when I grabbed his wrist. He relaxed back down into his chair, waiting for me to say something.

I told him that he shouldn't feel this bad about what he did. I told him that I still thought it was wrong, but then I apologized to him for being too harsh. I almost felt like crying, half because of how much it had really scared me that we had fought and half because I was so glad it was over. I was too busy trying to put on a stoic front when he pulled me closer to him and kissed me.

It wasn't like it had been at the fair, this one was just as good for different reasons. It felt like he was saying he was sorry again and that he was glad we weren't fighting anymore. I felt so much of what he was feeling come through that little kiss. The phrase 'kiss and make up' is going to get more respect from me now.

We probably would have gotten more into it, but we heard the other Titans coming and pulled apart. I'm not sure why, but it feels like it would have been wrong for them to see us. Not that kissing Beast Boy is wrong, just that that moment was too special to share, even with them.

I still feel like I'm an idiot for having treated him so badly, but I don't think he'll let me get away with it for long. I like that.

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(A/N) Well, it only took me six months to write this entry. Not too bad if you've got a lead pipe sticking through your head. (I mean no offense to the millions of people who suffer with this malady on a daily basis.) I hope that at least one of the past people who've been reading this come back and see the new entry. The next one is the last for this story. See how badly I suck? I stopped within easy sight of the finish line. I hate it when other authors do that, so at the very least I will be finishing this by Sunday. Hope you enjoy it, review if you feel that deep-seated burning sensation…or get a hemorrhoid cream.


	31. January 13th

(A/N) People reviewed? Always a cool thing. Annnnnnnnnd, here's the answers to the questions asked. Ambrosia , your first couple questions were pretty much the same thing, so, I believe the reason the story works is because so much is left to the imagination of the reader. Let them fill in the gaps they see and then wonder about it all until you get some nice takes on what might be. And the other two questions were also about the same thing, and I'm sorry to say this, but I don't write lemon, lime, or even grapefruit…except in this sentence. Just something that I don't do, but I can say that I don't mind the thought of a couple living happily ever after, I just don't really want to write about what happens to them after they've gotten there.

Disclaimer – Once upon a time there was a little boy who didn't own the Teen Titans. He wasn't me since I'm hardly little at 6'5" and 285lbs. But this little boy really was little. He was so scrawny a youth that he had trouble seeing over the bottom of his own shoes. I stepped on him and stole all of his powers…the power…to not own the Teen Titans. I shall try to wield it judiciously.

The Annotated Raven – January 13th

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6:15 a.m.

What do you write about in a journal like this one after you've gotten what you wanted?

Affection says you write about how things are going just in case they don't work out, but I'm having a hard time seeing anything but a future between Beast Boy and me…uhm…I mean, Garfield. He told me that that was his name last night. I already knew that from the personnel files, but he wants me to call him that or Gar when it's just the two of us. Kind of weird, but cool too.

I'm very nervous about what's going to happen today. I've decided to show Gar this journal. You know, calling him anything other than Beast Boy is going to take some getting used to. But, I want to show him tonight after our date. He's taking me to some new vegetarian restaurant and then to an arcade. Yeah, I don't know why I said yes either.

10:30 p.m.

He finished reading this about a half-hour ago. He looked half-surprised and half-embarrassed. For a while he was just really quiet. It looked like he was thinking about it all. When I asked him to say something he apologized for not having noticed sooner. He said it was time we could have used for doing stuff like we've been doing.

I thought he was talking about all the dates we've been on lately, but then he gives me that childish grin he uses whenever he's said something he thinks is funny that other people would have missed. So, of course he's talking about the kissing. I pinned him to the ceiling for a bit, but it didn't even come close to wiping that stupid grin off his face. It didn't help that he kept pointing out all the times that I had started a 'make out session.' That's what he called it anyway.

It doesn't help me strike fear and terror into his heart when I start smiling because he's talking about that kind of stuff. And, it doesn't help me keep from smiling when I know he's right. What can I say? I like kissing him.

I think I'm the happiest I've ever been.

I think it's after midnight.

This is Gar. Don't get mad Raven. I just felt like I needed to tell you something and this seemed like the best place to put it, especially after you showed me everything else you wrote in here. I thought the ways you made fun of me when you were mad that I didn't notice you hitting on me were funny. That's not what I wanted to tell you, it's just something I forgot to say when we were talking after I read your love journal. I thought that was a funny thing for you to have, but I'm glad you did. I just wanted to say that I love you. I can't believe you actually ever went out with me. I guess that's why I didn't notice what you were doing all those times. Part of me thought it couldn't be true. But, I love you and you love me and I don't think I've ever been happier either.

Who's gonna tell Star? She'll give a death hug to whoever does. And Cy and Rob are just gonna tease us about it the first time either of us says "I love you". You know what though? I don't think I mind any of that since it means that I've got you, babe. Whoa, Sunny Bono and Cher song. Cool.

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(A/N) I know I said I'd have this written by Sunday, but I have a valid reason for not doing so. I didn't e-mail myself a copy of what I had written already at work so that I could keep working on it at home. It was frustrating to me. But, I now have this final entry complete and another one shot up as well. It's weird having finished this entry today. It's tax day and I work for a CPA, you'd think we'd be more busy, but nope. We're caught up to where we need to be, so it's looking like we're going to have a slower day and the boss is probably going home early. Strange days. And one other thing. A brownie point to anyone who noticed my little idiosyncrasy. I have thirty-one chapters in this story and I use every number up to thirty-one for the dates in the chapter titles.


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